So today I am going out with YeonJae and her friend for lunch then I have to teach at 9pm at the cafe near here then my friend Stephanie said she might want to go out later if she is free so I may have a busy day!!
Korea is trying to be number one is English speaking Asian countries....
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2008/01/116_18200.html
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Korean Women
Here are a couple pictures... Korean pancake pizza made with kimchi, spicy chicken soup, and my own homemade chicken stew, some birds out in the snow, and the picture of a building is someone moving into their apartment and they use a lift to get all there stuff up to the high floors!!
So this weekend I worked and slept! Eddie started to feel sick so I gave him vitamin C. Already he is looking better!! His immune system is so much stronger than mine! I get jealous at times! haha. So Monday I taught Enzongcha then I met up with Hyein in Myeongdong which is like Dongdaemun with all the shopping and coffee shops and fun stuff. I met her online at my Seoulstuff.com page its like a myspace for people in Seoul. I knew I liked her the minute I saw a picture of a smoothie shop in one of her pictures! We went out for dinner (omelets with rice and cheese) then we got smoothies. We sat in Smoothie King for about an hour maybe more trying to think of things to talk about. It was a little awkward because it was our first meeting so I tried to make it comfortable but there were constant awkward silences. I sat there sipping my smoothie way after its contents were gone. It was something to do so as not to appear completely stupid just sitting awkwardly smiling. Anyways it was fun but a little stressful. She speaks English pretty well and with her cell phone she was able to look up the words she didn't know. I think she and I have the most in common out of all the girls I have met so I was really excited to meet her. She doesn't really like going to clubs or drinking (like me I just go out to meet people) and she loves horror movies and taking pictures with her REALLY nice camera. She also loves eating! Thats one of my hobbies so it was nice to meet a Korean women who wasn't "on a diet". She finished her omelet and had a smoothie then we went and had coffee. We were both full but we needed something to do! She is the same age as me and she lives at home with her little brother and parents. She has a curfew at 11pm each night!!!! She is 23 in Korea and she has a curfew!! That amazes me but I guess my other friend Yeon Jae was 26 and she had a curfew of 12 but wow! I can't imagine having to come home to my parents! After coffee we wandered around MyeongDong and I bought some cute stickers and some mascara from a cosmetics shop! She said next time she will take me to a really delicious noodle shop in Hondgae! I love noodles so I obviously said DEAL!
Yesterday I worked out for the first time in over a week and I learned while I was out sick they had cleaned out their shoe cupboard and they threw my shoes away!!! AHH!! They were my $140 running shoes from South Sound Running and they fit me perfectly and I loved them!! Anyways I asked them what happened and they said they were gone. They also said they would go look for them and asked me to describe them then another guy came in and spoke perfect English and he translated that my shoes were gone and it was my fault that I had lost them. Then I said thank you and they bowed and apologized! ARGH! Those were my good shoes! It was strange how they first said they would look for them though because it really gave me false hope. They just don't say things straight out I guess it probably keeps people calmer. I was upset but I stayed calm of course. I worked out in my socks mostly doing sit ups and rode the bike for a while but I stayed away from the heavy weights so as not to lose a toe!
After working out I headed home to prepare for my lesson with Sery. When I got there she was sick and coughing all over me so I finished off my pack of Vitamin C and continued to teach. She wanted to learn but her face was ll puffy and her eyes low so it was difficult to keep her attention. She was definitely sick! After that Eddie met me at the subway and we walked to the grocery store and did some shopping. They give us stickers for every 5,000won we spend ($5) and we put it on a sticker sheet. Our sheet it almost full so I think next time we go we'll be able to get the prize or discount or whatever it is... anyways thats a highlight in my life!!!
Today I am working from 3:30 to 9pm and of course add on an hour both ways so its a full days work for me. I have Sean at 3:30 he is a good kid but really bad at English but its tricky because he is good at certain things so its confusing! I think he understands then he really doesn't then I think he wont understand and he does... hmmm... he is at multiple levels at once so we'll see how that goes. Then I have my regulars Jane, Tom, Emily, and Melody. They are all progressing nicely and seem to be doing better in school I think because of my help so thats always good news!
Something interesting I have been learning about:
ALL the young women I have talked to (6) don't want to get married and 4 of them don't want to have kids and dislike kids entirely! I don't know if its a coincidence that I met the few women that don't want to marry but I thought it was very strange. Hyein the last girl I met up with said she didn't want kids or a husband she jsut liked being single! That was the 6th person in a row to say this!! The 2 women who said they might want to have kids said they want to raise them on their own. They don't want to be with one person their entire lives. This seems so different from my perception of Korean women. All the adults I have talked to and the books I have read have shown a stay at home mom kind of life for almost all Korean women and now they want to work full time jobs and MAYBE have kids... I talked to Danny about this a while ago and he said that more and more women are becoming political and getting into the government soon he said there will be no men in the government (as a joke). But it really seems like women are leaving their dishtowels behind to work in the big businesses. It seems like it is only in my age generation because I've meet women in their thirties and they already have kids...
I am still working on my book Chopsticks-Fork Principle and still loving it she is a very good writer and seems really wise about all things!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
thai culture
http://www.clupeid.demon.co.uk/thai/culture.html
Here is some information on Thai culture. I was reading in a book today that its rude to point your feet in a certain direction in Thailand so I thought I should do some intense research and I found this!
Height
Status is sometimes interpreted very literally. It is considered rude to be "high": to dominate someone else by standing above them. For a tall Westerner strap-hanging on a crowded bus, it is impossible to do otherwise, but you can symbolically become lower by gesturing a stoop. Similarly, when walking past seated people, try to go behind them: if you can't, stoop as you pass.
Hands, heads and feet
Another consequence of the literal interpretation of height as status is that the head is regarded as sacred, and the feet as unclean. Except in very intimate circumstances, you should never touch another person's head, or hold or pass an object over their head. (!!!!!)
At the other end of the body, the feet are unclean. So, not surprisingly, when visiting temples or private houses you should leave your shoes outside. In temples your legs must also be covered. Less obviously, you should not use your feet for anything except standing or walking. This catches most Westerners out, as we unconsciously use our feet to push things around in many ways the Thai would find offensive. An example: if you drop money, our natural reaction would be to stand on it. Don't do this! Not only have you used your unclean foot, you have just defiled the King's head with it.
Pointing is also regarded as impolite: never point at people. (An extreme manifestation of this is in go-go bars, where the hosts/hostesses all wear numbers: this is so that you can ask for them by number, rather than having to point.) If you need to hail a taxi, make a downward beckoning gesture towards the ground in front of you.
And to combine the two, never point with your feet, even inadvertently. In temples you are expected to kneel or squat (in order not to be "high") when not actually walking from A to B. Take care that when you kneel, your feet point away from the Buddha image. Imitate the Little Mermaid for the most graceful posture.
Also Happy Birthday to my dad! I wish I was home to spend today with him! I am so thankful I have my skype phone so I can call home easily on days like today!!
Here is some information on Thai culture. I was reading in a book today that its rude to point your feet in a certain direction in Thailand so I thought I should do some intense research and I found this!
Height
Status is sometimes interpreted very literally. It is considered rude to be "high": to dominate someone else by standing above them. For a tall Westerner strap-hanging on a crowded bus, it is impossible to do otherwise, but you can symbolically become lower by gesturing a stoop. Similarly, when walking past seated people, try to go behind them: if you can't, stoop as you pass.
Hands, heads and feet
Another consequence of the literal interpretation of height as status is that the head is regarded as sacred, and the feet as unclean. Except in very intimate circumstances, you should never touch another person's head, or hold or pass an object over their head. (!!!!!)
At the other end of the body, the feet are unclean. So, not surprisingly, when visiting temples or private houses you should leave your shoes outside. In temples your legs must also be covered. Less obviously, you should not use your feet for anything except standing or walking. This catches most Westerners out, as we unconsciously use our feet to push things around in many ways the Thai would find offensive. An example: if you drop money, our natural reaction would be to stand on it. Don't do this! Not only have you used your unclean foot, you have just defiled the King's head with it.
Pointing is also regarded as impolite: never point at people. (An extreme manifestation of this is in go-go bars, where the hosts/hostesses all wear numbers: this is so that you can ask for them by number, rather than having to point.) If you need to hail a taxi, make a downward beckoning gesture towards the ground in front of you.
And to combine the two, never point with your feet, even inadvertently. In temples you are expected to kneel or squat (in order not to be "high") when not actually walking from A to B. Take care that when you kneel, your feet point away from the Buddha image. Imitate the Little Mermaid for the most graceful posture.
Also Happy Birthday to my dad! I wish I was home to spend today with him! I am so thankful I have my skype phone so I can call home easily on days like today!!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Sick
So I am still sick today.. I worked a lot yesterday and we even found some students for Eddie to teach starting next week! I also found out the loan is going through just fine so thats the good news. I am wishing I was back home so I could go to the doctor easily but I guess I'll just stick this one out with vitamins at home. The girl I met the first night I went out (Stephanie) and had to leave behind found me online so I've been talking to her today. I was really sad that I didn't get her number or anything because I liked her more than anyone I had met so I was super excited to see her online!! She seems really sweet and I remember having a good time talking to her that night. She is a flight attendant so she has traveled all over the world and is actually visiting Chicago next week. I told her if I am feeling better tomorrow i may go out but for today I have a terrible cough and just feel gross so we'll see. If not this week then she said she'll be back next week so I can wait. The only lesson I have today is at the cafe near the subway at 9pm so I am resting at home and reading my book until then! I haven't been sleeping much so I've been up since 8 which is earlier than usual for me but its good to get extra reading time! I transfered the money over to Danny and sent him an upbeat message so we'll see what happens next. My grandma sent me an email saying she remembers Randy (my Korean uncle) showing all his emotions on his face too so maybe Danny wasn't as mad as he seemed he just doesn't have a good pokerface for life... I'm waiting for his email back. He is heading to China now so I expect it may be a couple days before I hear from him. Missing home and my friends and feeling anxious about my cold. :(
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Yeon Jae
So yesterday I taught Sery and it went really well she got 100% on her English test at school and so got the highest score... I'm a little proud! She was really excited and seemed to be more interested then ever before. We used the new book I got her and played some word games. After my 1 hour lesson I headed back to Hongdae where I met up with Yeon Jae (the one who got us tickets to the play last week). We had a really really spicy chicken soup for dinner and I've been paying for it with stomach cramping ever since. It was a little extreme in the spicy arena but it was delicious so I ate it... after eating we chatted for a long time and it was much easier to chat with her then anyone else because she seemed more my style. We both like similar music and she studied Psychology for a while but she had to quit because it became to depressing for her. She went to school to be a teacher then taught for a couple years then realized she hates children so now she works for a production company putting on big musicals. I thought it was strange that she spent so much time in school to be a teacher then found out she hated kids. After dinner we went to Nori Bong and sang some songs which was awkward with just the 2 of us but I think its very common. At 11pm she had to go since she lives 2 hours away and I headed home with my stomach very much in pain! Today I am off to the bank to transfer over my full payment to Danny then I am teaching Sean, then Jane, then Tom, then Emily and Melody. Sean is technically Eddie's student but Sean's parents don't like Eddie because he is half Korean and can't speak Korean and he has a little facial hair. I guess it is a characteristic of gang members to have a goatee. Anyways I think they need to see what a great guy Eddie is before they judge him so harshly. It is very true that people think poorly of Koreans who don't speak Korean. Its a sad fact... So Eddie and I teach Sean together! Kind'a annoying because Eddie and Sean have a much closer connection since they both like the same cartoons and games and weapons and all that fun stuff I don't really bother to pay attention to. Anyways I think Eddie could be a good teacher for the kid but they want me to stay while Eddie teaches for a while... So thats my day and my terrible garlic smell didn't end up paying off because I am sicker today! I really want this cold to be a short one because I need to be able to work!! Kenny also found a really good site with lots of Korean's who want to learn English so Eddie and I are going to find a couple more students!!! YAY!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Its snowing again today and I'm still sick! I've eaten enough garlic to keep Eddie away for years and my vitamin cupboard's contents are mostly in my stomach so I am hopeful!
I wrote Cathy Bao Bean today (Author of the book I am reading The Chopsticks-Fork Principle) because I guess she knows a lot about teaching English as a second language to little kids. Helena and her are friends so she suggested contacting her for ideas. We'll see what comes back...
Also here is a picture from the night at the club with the older woman
etiquette
so my mom sent me this page about Korean etiquette with money and work and business stuff I am off to read it now....
http://www.eslmonkeys.com/teacher/country_info/country.php?country=korea%20(south)&field=customs&title=Customs%20%26%20Etiquette
"Neither the language nor the social mores of Korea are very precise. As a result, many things are left unsaid by Koreans but are still understood. Of course, foreigners are often at a loss. It is important that you understand what is expected and required, and that any misunderstanding be resolved immediately. Otherwise, problems may continue to develop."
I also liked this part a lot! It is so true about being shoved... I feel like I am on a football field at times...
DOs & DON'Ts
Do feel free to enter Buddhist temples even if a service is under way. Enter through a side door, leave your shoes by the door, and sit down at the side of the hall. Don't sit or stand directly in front of the main Buddha image.
Don't expect apologies when shoved, bumped and jostled in the street. It may be disconcerting to visitors, but Koreans view collisions as an unavoidable consequence of living in a densely populated country.
Do use both hands when giving something to a Korean (especially elderly Koreans or authorities).
Do be prepared to use chopsticks - forks will be hard to come by outside of Seoul .
Don't forget to remove shoes prior to entering private homes, Korea House (in Seoul ) or even your own hotel room if you're staying in a traditional lodging. It's not a bad idea to wear loafers your entire stay.
Do keep currency-exchange receipts to change money back when leaving.
Do plan on being either the guest or the host if dining with a Korean - Dutch treat isn't appropriate. Usually the eldest person buys.
Don't leave your camera, candy bars or anything else that's heat-sensitive on the floor if you're staying in traditional housing or hotels with floor heating during the fall, winter or early spring. Koreans heat their buildings via pipes that lie beneath the floor boards.
Do be cautious if what you're eating is covered with bits of green peppers. Some of the peppers are so hot they make jalapenos seem like cucumbers.
Don't wear shorts, jeans or sandals when visiting Panmunjeom. "Unkempt or shaggy hair" is also forbidden. And when you are at Freedom Pavilion, don't wave at, point to or attempt to communicate in any way with North Korean border guards.
Do attend sireum , a Korean wrestling match - it's quite different from Western-style wrestling.
http://www.eslmonkeys.com/teacher/country_info/country.php?country=korea%20(south)&field=customs&title=Customs%20%26%20Etiquette
"Neither the language nor the social mores of Korea are very precise. As a result, many things are left unsaid by Koreans but are still understood. Of course, foreigners are often at a loss. It is important that you understand what is expected and required, and that any misunderstanding be resolved immediately. Otherwise, problems may continue to develop."
I also liked this part a lot! It is so true about being shoved... I feel like I am on a football field at times...
DOs & DON'Ts
Do feel free to enter Buddhist temples even if a service is under way. Enter through a side door, leave your shoes by the door, and sit down at the side of the hall. Don't sit or stand directly in front of the main Buddha image.
Don't expect apologies when shoved, bumped and jostled in the street. It may be disconcerting to visitors, but Koreans view collisions as an unavoidable consequence of living in a densely populated country.
Do use both hands when giving something to a Korean (especially elderly Koreans or authorities).
Do be prepared to use chopsticks - forks will be hard to come by outside of Seoul .
Don't forget to remove shoes prior to entering private homes, Korea House (in Seoul ) or even your own hotel room if you're staying in a traditional lodging. It's not a bad idea to wear loafers your entire stay.
Do keep currency-exchange receipts to change money back when leaving.
Do plan on being either the guest or the host if dining with a Korean - Dutch treat isn't appropriate. Usually the eldest person buys.
Don't leave your camera, candy bars or anything else that's heat-sensitive on the floor if you're staying in traditional housing or hotels with floor heating during the fall, winter or early spring. Koreans heat their buildings via pipes that lie beneath the floor boards.
Do be cautious if what you're eating is covered with bits of green peppers. Some of the peppers are so hot they make jalapenos seem like cucumbers.
Don't wear shorts, jeans or sandals when visiting Panmunjeom. "Unkempt or shaggy hair" is also forbidden. And when you are at Freedom Pavilion, don't wave at, point to or attempt to communicate in any way with North Korean border guards.
Do attend sireum , a Korean wrestling match - it's quite different from Western-style wrestling.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Psychology
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/biz/2008/01/123_17628.html
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2008/01/116_17626.html
just a couple articles AND THIS ONE!!!
Psychology in Korea!!
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/opinon/2008/01/162_17647.html
I was helping one of my students with some entrance essays for college and they had questions like "what do you feel about...." and he said that American's are very strange and that he never thinks about how he feels about anything so for each of those questions he said that they didn't really apply to him... so strange... In my experience over here it seems like more Koreans choose to drink their problems away then talk about them... as said in that article...
"Psychology in Korea
By Alex Lee
Psychology and mental health aren't issues most native Koreans or Korean Americans like to talk about. Even the word, ``crazy'' in Korean, is fraught with serious negative connotations.
After seeing all the negativity from ``the community'' my own Korean friends with depression have had to endure, it's hard not to think that most Koreans would still rather drink away their problems than actually talk about them.
A recent Korea Times article reported that more native Korean women and men in their 20s and 30s were seeking mental health services than ever.
Some experts I spoke with also told me that things were changing, but ― ironically for Korea ― quite slowly.
Kwon Jung-hye, a psychologist and director of Korea University's Marital Counseling Center, highlighted a definite shift in both Koreans' attitudes toward Western-style mental health therapy, as well as their willingness to seek help ― specifically in the last five to 10 years.
Not too long ago, Koreans viewed people with mental illness in a very cynical light.
Due in large part to Korea's rapid modernization, Westernization, and especially the Internet, Korean society today is more open about seeking mental health services than before.
Interestingly, according to Kwon, Korean children were a big catalyst for the change.
``Parents who sought treatment for their kids came first in Korea,'' she said, ``and then adults seeking treatment for themselves followed.''
During the 1990s, many counseling centers for children first began sprouting up around Seoul, largely because of Korean parents demand to help their stressed-out children deal with the rigors of studying and competing against their peers.
Not surprisingly, given Korean culture's emphasis on parents and their children, counseling for children remains more popular and socially acceptable than that of adults.
Issues over marriage and divorce also saw increasing requests for help from therapists.
Despite greater awareness, however, misunderstanding still exists, according to Choi Myoung-sik, a professor at Sogang University and committee member of the Korean Counseling Psychological Association.
He said most Koreans still view mental health treatment as something necessary only for serious patients. In addition, the majority of Koreans who seek help want to be ``cured'' ― like everything else in Korea ― ``quickly, quickly.'' (...in Korea everyone says Pali pali which means quickly quickly)
Other psychologists I spoke with stressed the party line that it's impossible to generalize one patient's experience over that of another, let alone all Koreans over that of different racial groups
Nho Choong-rai, a professor of Social Welfare at Ewha Womans said that Koreans are tending to be more open about seeking mental health services.
Like many Westerners who seek ``alternative,'' ``Eastern'' medicine these days, many Koreans are also able to utilize both Western therapies with indigenous ones. As a result, Koreans today have ``more choices than they did before,'' he said.
There is another important distinction between native Koreans and Westerners, said Irene J. K. Park, a psychology professor at the University of Notre Dame.
In Eastern cultures, individuals tend to somaticize their psychological symptoms, such that physical ailments can be indicators of psychological distress. Consequently, she said, most Koreans and even Korean Americans seek out their primary care physicians for medical treatments rather than psychologists for a psychological disorder.
So what about the difference between native Koreans and Korean Americans?
``Korea is like a hell, but it's an interesting hell,'' said Nho, who spent all of his psychological practice in the United States. ``America is a very good haven, but it's a boring haven.''
He added that most native Koreans must contend with all the ``noises'' ― political, economic, and cultural ― that define high-pressure life in Korea. Saving face is also an undeniable obstacle to seeking help openly.
Contrastingly, his views on Korean American's situation were more favorable. Nho characterized their racial marginalization from the American mainstream ― something native Koreans in Korea do not face ― as both a blessing and a curse.
On the one hand, Korean Americans can afford to be ``selfish'' in their anonymity, whereas most native Koreans must obsess every minute about keeping up with the Joneses. On the other hand, because of such marginalization, Korean Americans may feel isolated.
But he was quick to point out that everything depends on the individual patient. How much racism and discrimination actually affects a Korean American's mental health depends greatly on their level of cultural acculturation, English proficiency, and family relationships, he said.
Most experts I spoke with still seemed to be of the view that that Korean Americans, being ``Western,'' were equally open to seeking therapy to the average American.
But Park cited evidence that suggested the contrary. A 2007 study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) found that 8.6 percent of Asian Americans sought some form of help for mental health issues compared to 18 percent of the general U.S. population.
Ultimately, it's hard to gauge exactly how much of the mental health scene is improving for Koreans. Experts tell me Koreans both inside and outside the motherland are changing, but only time will tell. For now at least, I know I feel better having talked about it.
Alex Lee is a frequent contributor to The Korea Times. He also reports for the Inter Press Service News Agency and volunteers at the Asian Regional Exchange for New Alternatives (ARENA) in Seoul. He can be reached at kifacorea@gmail.com."
**********************************************************************************
After reading this article I looked up the word counseling and psychology on the site and this was the only article they had!! WOW! Whenever I tell people that is what i am interested in they look amazed! Its seems really new over here. I met one man who moved to Canada for 10 years to study Psychology and he just moved back to Korea so try and help people here...
I also checked out one of the Universities and I found this page http://www.ewha.ac.kr/eng/academics/college/social_sciences_07.jsp which showed over 20 courses in psychology so it is strange that its such a new idea here....
And here's an article on Psychology in Korea as something that is rising up..
http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1464-0597.2007.00279.x?cookieSet=1
I also found an orphanage in Korea near my home that I might be able to volunteer at!! I am super excited and hopeful!!
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2008/01/116_17626.html
just a couple articles AND THIS ONE!!!
Psychology in Korea!!
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/opinon/2008/01/162_17647.html
I was helping one of my students with some entrance essays for college and they had questions like "what do you feel about...." and he said that American's are very strange and that he never thinks about how he feels about anything so for each of those questions he said that they didn't really apply to him... so strange... In my experience over here it seems like more Koreans choose to drink their problems away then talk about them... as said in that article...
"Psychology in Korea
By Alex Lee
Psychology and mental health aren't issues most native Koreans or Korean Americans like to talk about. Even the word, ``crazy'' in Korean, is fraught with serious negative connotations.
After seeing all the negativity from ``the community'' my own Korean friends with depression have had to endure, it's hard not to think that most Koreans would still rather drink away their problems than actually talk about them.
A recent Korea Times article reported that more native Korean women and men in their 20s and 30s were seeking mental health services than ever.
Some experts I spoke with also told me that things were changing, but ― ironically for Korea ― quite slowly.
Kwon Jung-hye, a psychologist and director of Korea University's Marital Counseling Center, highlighted a definite shift in both Koreans' attitudes toward Western-style mental health therapy, as well as their willingness to seek help ― specifically in the last five to 10 years.
Not too long ago, Koreans viewed people with mental illness in a very cynical light.
Due in large part to Korea's rapid modernization, Westernization, and especially the Internet, Korean society today is more open about seeking mental health services than before.
Interestingly, according to Kwon, Korean children were a big catalyst for the change.
``Parents who sought treatment for their kids came first in Korea,'' she said, ``and then adults seeking treatment for themselves followed.''
During the 1990s, many counseling centers for children first began sprouting up around Seoul, largely because of Korean parents demand to help their stressed-out children deal with the rigors of studying and competing against their peers.
Not surprisingly, given Korean culture's emphasis on parents and their children, counseling for children remains more popular and socially acceptable than that of adults.
Issues over marriage and divorce also saw increasing requests for help from therapists.
Despite greater awareness, however, misunderstanding still exists, according to Choi Myoung-sik, a professor at Sogang University and committee member of the Korean Counseling Psychological Association.
He said most Koreans still view mental health treatment as something necessary only for serious patients. In addition, the majority of Koreans who seek help want to be ``cured'' ― like everything else in Korea ― ``quickly, quickly.'' (...in Korea everyone says Pali pali which means quickly quickly)
Other psychologists I spoke with stressed the party line that it's impossible to generalize one patient's experience over that of another, let alone all Koreans over that of different racial groups
Nho Choong-rai, a professor of Social Welfare at Ewha Womans said that Koreans are tending to be more open about seeking mental health services.
Like many Westerners who seek ``alternative,'' ``Eastern'' medicine these days, many Koreans are also able to utilize both Western therapies with indigenous ones. As a result, Koreans today have ``more choices than they did before,'' he said.
There is another important distinction between native Koreans and Westerners, said Irene J. K. Park, a psychology professor at the University of Notre Dame.
In Eastern cultures, individuals tend to somaticize their psychological symptoms, such that physical ailments can be indicators of psychological distress. Consequently, she said, most Koreans and even Korean Americans seek out their primary care physicians for medical treatments rather than psychologists for a psychological disorder.
So what about the difference between native Koreans and Korean Americans?
``Korea is like a hell, but it's an interesting hell,'' said Nho, who spent all of his psychological practice in the United States. ``America is a very good haven, but it's a boring haven.''
He added that most native Koreans must contend with all the ``noises'' ― political, economic, and cultural ― that define high-pressure life in Korea. Saving face is also an undeniable obstacle to seeking help openly.
Contrastingly, his views on Korean American's situation were more favorable. Nho characterized their racial marginalization from the American mainstream ― something native Koreans in Korea do not face ― as both a blessing and a curse.
On the one hand, Korean Americans can afford to be ``selfish'' in their anonymity, whereas most native Koreans must obsess every minute about keeping up with the Joneses. On the other hand, because of such marginalization, Korean Americans may feel isolated.
But he was quick to point out that everything depends on the individual patient. How much racism and discrimination actually affects a Korean American's mental health depends greatly on their level of cultural acculturation, English proficiency, and family relationships, he said.
Most experts I spoke with still seemed to be of the view that that Korean Americans, being ``Western,'' were equally open to seeking therapy to the average American.
But Park cited evidence that suggested the contrary. A 2007 study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) found that 8.6 percent of Asian Americans sought some form of help for mental health issues compared to 18 percent of the general U.S. population.
Ultimately, it's hard to gauge exactly how much of the mental health scene is improving for Koreans. Experts tell me Koreans both inside and outside the motherland are changing, but only time will tell. For now at least, I know I feel better having talked about it.
Alex Lee is a frequent contributor to The Korea Times. He also reports for the Inter Press Service News Agency and volunteers at the Asian Regional Exchange for New Alternatives (ARENA) in Seoul. He can be reached at kifacorea@gmail.com."
**********************************************************************************
After reading this article I looked up the word counseling and psychology on the site and this was the only article they had!! WOW! Whenever I tell people that is what i am interested in they look amazed! Its seems really new over here. I met one man who moved to Canada for 10 years to study Psychology and he just moved back to Korea so try and help people here...
I also checked out one of the Universities and I found this page http://www.ewha.ac.kr/eng/academics/college/social_sciences_07.jsp which showed over 20 courses in psychology so it is strange that its such a new idea here....
And here's an article on Psychology in Korea as something that is rising up..
http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1464-0597.2007.00279.x?cookieSet=1
I also found an orphanage in Korea near my home that I might be able to volunteer at!! I am super excited and hopeful!!
loans
So I am officially signed up for my first loan... Its a scary idea for me because I don't like to owe any money EVER! I think it will be a good idea though because we are going to need it for our trip to Thailand and China... I hope I can save a good portion of it to help pay for a place to live back in oly when we return. I feel like such an adult... I guess its only like $50 a month for 10 years after I graduate so I think that is pretty good!! At least thats what my mom said... anyways I'm excited and scared at the same time.. I have always been scared of loans but this will probably be more good than bad so yay!
hmmm
So...here is my story I wont spare any details so pay attention then let me know what you think!!!
So Danny is a very nice man and without him I wouldn't be able to be here at all. Okay now that that is out of the way... My apartment was had a $60,000 deposite fee which Danny paid for and I agreed I would work the interest fee off for him monthly by working $360 worth for him and $240 worth for an other family that was going to pay him directly. At $40 an hour I would have to work 9 hours for him a month to pay him off. So in the beginning I worked for him and his friend but then his friend canceled out on having me teach for them because there child wanted to focus on math so I worked 16 hours a month for Danny which would come up to $640 for him but I figured we could call that even since he is soo nice to me and helpful. Then he got another student for me to work for and they started taking money from my pay each month to pay Danny the extra $240. So I continued working 16 hours for Danny plus an additional 6 hours for the other student. I was okay with this whole thing seeing as Danny is a good guy and I am there anyways so I just worked an extra hour each time. His wife cooks me dinner and they have taken us a couple fun places and Danny helped consign for a cellphone and bank account so I felt like this would make us more even... but was I wrong?
So currently I work 16 hours a month for his daughters and I work hard I only really need to be working 9 hours a month I never see any cash its just he paid the deposit fee and I work for him... so I have bought his girls sets of books twice now and then last time I was going to ask him for the money for it and he said "so maybe these can just be gifts from you for my girls." before I even said anything... so I left it at that... so now Emily is such a good student she has worked through her second set of books so I was at the bookstore and I picked out a couple books for her...
Then I brought them over when we had our next lesson and then I found out my last phone bill was charged to Danny's bank account because of something he did wrong when he gave them the account numbers so he gave me a piece of paper with how much was owed and I said "oh okay I'll transfer that over. And I picked up a couple books for your girls we can just add that on there" And thats when I got the meanest look I have ever seen on Danny's face he looked so angry I was honestly scared. So I said "I'll transfer that over as soon as I can" and he said "OK" then left... AHHHH!! It was such an uncomfortable situation. Keep in mind I am very poor and $24 for books for Emily is nothing to him but thats 4 days of food for me so its kind'a a bigger deal... I decided I don't want to burn any bridges here so I'm just going to pay him the amount for my cell phone and leave the book situation alone... but for next time I think I will tell them to pick out the books themselves! AHH! I feel really strange now because I thought I was on equal playing ground with him as far a money since I am working so many extra hours each month but maybe he doesn't see it like that at all... I also told him if he ever wants to send his girls over I would take good care of them like his family has for me. I feel like he thinks he thinks I am mooching off of him or something but every time we have gone out to dinner he always says I will take care of the bill then he sends me the bill later so I really haven't cost him that much aside from the time be has had to take. I am so grateful to everything he has done because he has made our stay so much more comfortable by helping us with getting internet and cell phones and bank accounts and A PLACE TO LIVE! But I feel like he feels I owe him my life or something... and honestly I feel like I am doing a good deal for him as well... 7 extra hours a month at $40 is $280 times 12 is $3,360 saved for him and he gets his deposit back! Anyways I am feeling frustrated because I felt like I was being nice but I think he thinks I am a greedy little American... hmmm its only $24 so I'll leave it alone but I'm frustrated with the whole situation!
Other than that I woke up sick this morning and its snowing! WOO! It beautiful but cold and terrible to walk through!
So Danny is a very nice man and without him I wouldn't be able to be here at all. Okay now that that is out of the way... My apartment was had a $60,000 deposite fee which Danny paid for and I agreed I would work the interest fee off for him monthly by working $360 worth for him and $240 worth for an other family that was going to pay him directly. At $40 an hour I would have to work 9 hours for him a month to pay him off. So in the beginning I worked for him and his friend but then his friend canceled out on having me teach for them because there child wanted to focus on math so I worked 16 hours a month for Danny which would come up to $640 for him but I figured we could call that even since he is soo nice to me and helpful. Then he got another student for me to work for and they started taking money from my pay each month to pay Danny the extra $240. So I continued working 16 hours for Danny plus an additional 6 hours for the other student. I was okay with this whole thing seeing as Danny is a good guy and I am there anyways so I just worked an extra hour each time. His wife cooks me dinner and they have taken us a couple fun places and Danny helped consign for a cellphone and bank account so I felt like this would make us more even... but was I wrong?
So currently I work 16 hours a month for his daughters and I work hard I only really need to be working 9 hours a month I never see any cash its just he paid the deposit fee and I work for him... so I have bought his girls sets of books twice now and then last time I was going to ask him for the money for it and he said "so maybe these can just be gifts from you for my girls." before I even said anything... so I left it at that... so now Emily is such a good student she has worked through her second set of books so I was at the bookstore and I picked out a couple books for her...
Then I brought them over when we had our next lesson and then I found out my last phone bill was charged to Danny's bank account because of something he did wrong when he gave them the account numbers so he gave me a piece of paper with how much was owed and I said "oh okay I'll transfer that over. And I picked up a couple books for your girls we can just add that on there" And thats when I got the meanest look I have ever seen on Danny's face he looked so angry I was honestly scared. So I said "I'll transfer that over as soon as I can" and he said "OK" then left... AHHHH!! It was such an uncomfortable situation. Keep in mind I am very poor and $24 for books for Emily is nothing to him but thats 4 days of food for me so its kind'a a bigger deal... I decided I don't want to burn any bridges here so I'm just going to pay him the amount for my cell phone and leave the book situation alone... but for next time I think I will tell them to pick out the books themselves! AHH! I feel really strange now because I thought I was on equal playing ground with him as far a money since I am working so many extra hours each month but maybe he doesn't see it like that at all... I also told him if he ever wants to send his girls over I would take good care of them like his family has for me. I feel like he thinks he thinks I am mooching off of him or something but every time we have gone out to dinner he always says I will take care of the bill then he sends me the bill later so I really haven't cost him that much aside from the time be has had to take. I am so grateful to everything he has done because he has made our stay so much more comfortable by helping us with getting internet and cell phones and bank accounts and A PLACE TO LIVE! But I feel like he feels I owe him my life or something... and honestly I feel like I am doing a good deal for him as well... 7 extra hours a month at $40 is $280 times 12 is $3,360 saved for him and he gets his deposit back! Anyways I am feeling frustrated because I felt like I was being nice but I think he thinks I am a greedy little American... hmmm its only $24 so I'll leave it alone but I'm frustrated with the whole situation!
Other than that I woke up sick this morning and its snowing! WOO! It beautiful but cold and terrible to walk through!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
TinPan club
So I went to Hongdae last night and met up with a couple girls. One was named So Young Yun and she was about 26 and the other was named "U B" and she was like 18. They didn't know eachother before meeting so it was very interesting. Ube brought a friend with her but I think her friend didn't really want to come because she didn't even introduce herself the whole night. She was just sitting in the corner with her hood on smoking and texting her boyfriend.. it was a little strange.. Ube was really nice and smoke almost perfect English she taught me a couple Korean words... So that whole thing was fine... But So Young Yun was another story... She was a very strange woman who seemed very out of place and it was very awkward because she said really awkward things... not because of the language barrier just awkward in general. I wish I could explain how uncomfortable I was but I stuck it out because Ube was such a sweetheart and kept trying to lighten the mood. We danced around for a bit then a bunch of guys came and started bothering us so we moved away but So Young Yun got swept up with them so we sat and chatted some more. Ube works for an airline (not a flight attendant!) she was very adamant that her job was a desk job and she was not one of those mean flight attendants... something she had a lot of experience with I guessed.... She lives by herself in a small loft and works part time she is studying English on her own so she can move to Texas for her job... I asked why Texas and she said her friends live there... I thought it was a strange place for her because she seems very liberal. We talked a lot about our futures and she asked if I would ever get married and have kids and I said yes and she said she just wants to adopt and not ever marry. She likes to be free. We talked about Confucius a lot and she said she hates his theories. She said its really old generation stuff and most younger people aren't into him at all. This was very interesting to me because I was under the impression it was more widely accepted by all but she said it gave way too much silly respect to the elders that wasn't really necessary. She said she respected the elders but thought it was strange she had to speak a totally different dialect to them and always bow to them and she didn't like how they always had to be right no matter what. Anyways that was an interesting perspective for me to hear so I asked So Young Yun about it and she also said she wasn't a fan. She said her parents wanted her to be married right away and were constantly making her go on blind dates with strange guys so she could be married but she said she wanted to be single for the rest of her life... She also said her parents don't love her because she is the second child and they only love the 1st and 3rd... it was an awkward moment but I tried to mix it up by saying being the eldest can be difficult too. Anyways the club started to get full and Ube got a headache so she and her friend left so I was stuck with So Young Yun. Some American's started talking to us and we chatted a little but I decided it was time to come home so I left shortly after. So Young Yun sent me a message this morning saying she stayed at that club until 6am and that she had a lot of fun and she wanted to hang out again soon... Oooooohhh and I accidentally agreed to go have dinner with them again next Thursday so that will be fun-ish... Other than that I haven't really developed any new recipes just working with the left overs we have. I want to make a rice flower cake some time but I think I might need an oven.. Its just a sticky rice blob thats really delicious.
I've been exercising a lot and I've gained 2 kilograms (x 2.2= 4.4pounds!)!!! AHH I am unhappy about that but Eddie says that always happens when you start exercising so I'm hopeful.... Ohh another thing Ube told me is that a lot of girls have eating disorders in Korea... Which is strange because they are already so small but I guess media effects everyone so it wasn't too surprising. She said she used to throw up all through high school and So Young Yun said she is always on a diet and she smokes like crazy... This is soo sad that all these people (including me) let images run their lives. Plastic surgery is huge over here and cheap. Everyone is getting new noses and boobs and liposuction its disturbing!
Currently I am reading The Chopsticks-Fork Principle by Cathy Bao Bean. Its about a young girl from China who moved to America in the late 1940's with her family (excluding her baby sister who they left behind because the mother couldn't take care of an other child alone). So far I am in the early stages of the book but I really enjoy it so far she is a very good narrator of her life and it is such a unique story.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Feeling Homesick again..... or still
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2008/01/116_17499.html
I'm going out again tonight with a couple girls I haven't met yet. I like everyone I am meeting but they are sooo different from my friends back home....
I'm going out again tonight with a couple girls I haven't met yet. I like everyone I am meeting but they are sooo different from my friends back home....
So I tried black noodles with my student Enzongcha on Monday and inside there was a surprise... octopus... So I had to eat it not to be rude... then I went out with a girl named Summer and we had Tacalby or something similar to that.. its a spicy chicken with cabbage we also went and saw the Mist a new movie about mist with creatures in it... It was a lot of fun and we got along pretty well but she just left for China today for a month so I wont be able to see here for a while. Tuesday Eddie and I met another girl named Yeon Jae and she got us tickets to a $130 per ticket play of Les Dix Commandments or the ten commandments... it was all in French so I had to try and remember my French classes in high school but I could only remember words like brother and go and work and dead so I had to just go off what we could see in the show....but it was a great show with break dancing and singing... it was pretty fun and I got to talk to Yeon Jae a little I think we will go out again next week so we can actually talk. Wednesday was a typical long day I had 5 students so I got home around 10:30 then today I met with a girl name Lucy and her boyfriend and we had Pho noodles and coffee and talked about Korean customs and family and school systems and lots of stuff... I'm also able to hear her speak some Korean so I am learning a little more... Now I'm home and I have 3 days with no dates but next week I'm meeting all new people so hopefully I'll be able to make some good friends... So far everyone is very nice but we'll see...
Here are some pictures from the play and since I'm usually alone I just took a couple of myself because everyone says I have to many of the scenery...
ohh and Eddie bundled up to go outside because it literally cuts at your face! AND some Yakisoba I made! YUM!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
at the club....
So I met up with a girl named Eunmi "unmeee" and her friends at a club last night for the first time. The club was filled with foreigners and drunks. It was a very interesting experience. The girl Enumi was so excited to meet me she was holding my hand for like 10 minutes. Then she decided to dance on the bar and she threw a big tantrum when I told her I didn't want to dance on the bar with her... Her friends were more normal and I chatted with one girl for a long time then Eunmi and her friend hyan grabbed my hand and told me to run and we got in a taxi and we went to Itaewon which is a big foreigner area... I didn't want to go but I didn't even know we were going there until she told the taxi "itaewon" so I asked what about their friend Stephanie and they said they weren't really friends... I was really sad because I had talked to her the most and we really got along then we just disappeared... anyways took a taxi to Itaewon and saw mostly foreigners it was depressing... On the ride there they kept telling me how happy they were to meet me because I was different from the foreigners they knew... I began to understand what they meant shortly after we arrived at a club called Hello's. I sat in a lounge area that had a view of the club with Hyan while drunken Eunmi danced with lots of people. Hyan was really sweet and reminded me of my friend Tara back home. We sat in the lounge because Hyan said she had to watch Eunmi's purse while Eunmi danced... She was like a mother and her daughter was acting spoiled! Anyways we talked for a while then she said her boyfriend was coming so we waited for him. He was a tall blond Canadian with a chip on his shoulder... I didn't like him the second he walked in... Eunmi and Hyan were speaking to eachother in Korean so he said "ah ah ah no Korean remember?" so I said "No you should speak Korean I need to learn it anyway" then he said "yeah I do too but NO korean!" His friend followed behind and I learned the he and Eunmi had dated for a while then he cheated on her with 2 girls!!! I felt like I was in a soap opera!! So Eunmi still liked the guy but didn't want to be with him so she and Hyan explained they just want Eunmi to show him she is pretty and I asked if she meant make him Jealous and they agreed that was the right word. I went to the bathroom at one point and heard two American's in the stall next to me talking really loudly saying "Oh my god he is totally hot and has a great body but honestly he can kiss me on the cheek from now on because I saw him making out with that other girl and oh my god she was so ugly....." It was so stupid and I felt so ashamed to be from the same country as them. When they came out of the stall I took a good look at them and saw they were in the late 30's with bleached blond hair, tight skirts, and cleavage... the rest of the club was pretty much the same. It was interesting to watch and good to talk with Hyan but its not really my scene... Tomorrow I am getting coffee and dinner with a women named Summer so hopefully that will be fun she is 25 (24 Korean age) so maybe it will be easy to talk with her cause Eunmi and hyan were 21 and seemed really young. After that adventure Eunmi got me a taxi and I headed home... it came out to be over 8 dollars but it was about 25 minute ride so I guess its not to bad. Eddie walked toward Hongdae to meet me around 4am then walked me home and I went to bed because I had to teach today.
Other than that I'm really excited to meet people to practice Korean with I think that will be really helpful and I really need friends here!! Thursday I have a pho noodle soup date with a girl named Lucy so that will be fun... its like going on blind dates... kind'a...
Teaching is going well... Its difficult with kids sometimes because they don't do their homework but I talked with Amy (Sery's older sister) and she told me Sery always says I never give her any homework (she was lying) so I explained that I always give her homework and she never does it so hopefully from now on their mom will oversee better. I've been using a ESL teaching website for more ideas on lesson plans because I've almost tried everything I know... creativity is an important piece of teaching!! So if any of the teachers in my family have ideas for English lessons for kids let me know!!!
Other than that I'm really excited to meet people to practice Korean with I think that will be really helpful and I really need friends here!! Thursday I have a pho noodle soup date with a girl named Lucy so that will be fun... its like going on blind dates... kind'a...
Teaching is going well... Its difficult with kids sometimes because they don't do their homework but I talked with Amy (Sery's older sister) and she told me Sery always says I never give her any homework (she was lying) so I explained that I always give her homework and she never does it so hopefully from now on their mom will oversee better. I've been using a ESL teaching website for more ideas on lesson plans because I've almost tried everything I know... creativity is an important piece of teaching!! So if any of the teachers in my family have ideas for English lessons for kids let me know!!!
EVERLAND...
So Danny finally sent me the pictures from our Everland trip 3 months ago... So here they are... some of the pictures were taken by Melody so keep that in mind...
Friday, January 11, 2008
snow
So we woke up to snow today and it was beautiful but cold. My new boots already have holes in them so just walking the 20min to the gym my feet got soaked!! AHH!! I want to buy new shoes but I also want to be able to pay for a trip to Thailand so we're living frugally as usual... That new site I found is great and I already have a couple "play dates" with some Korean women around my age tomorrow we are going to a club! They've all also said they can help me with my Korean. I talked to 6 different girls who really want to do a language exchange thing so hopefully that will work out and maybe I'll get some friends along the way... Other than that life goes on nothing too exciting here... I made some delicious curry for dinner...
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Japan Picture of pictures
There was a sex shop just across the street from our hotel... I had to take a picture...
Then lots of us at temples and with deer and just around Japan! Eddie wanted to take a picture of me with all the sleeping pigeons so thats in there too.. Keep in mind he's a weird one...
here's a picture of a temple in DongDae-mun and some of my cooking!! I am learning all new recipes!! My most recent one was spicy chicken and cabbage with a rice cake noodle. It was delicious! In other good news I found a website that helps people make friends in Korea and I've talked with 3 different girls around my age from Korea who are trying to learn English and they want to hang out so I am really excited!! I really want to make some friends because its difficult only seeing my students and eddie and Kenny...
ohh also I found a box with some cute sayings on it and randomly the F word... hmmm funny!
I got my pictures from Japan developed so I am taking pictures of my pictures...
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